Cooties

When my parents moved from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs, I had to change elementary schools in the fourth grade with four months left in the school year. What I quickly discovered was the "existence" of a phantom parasite that attached itself to certain people and could be transmitted (never proven) by touching the person infected with cooties or the infected touching another person. 

It was a big deal among the boys at my new school. So, as a newbie, I went along with this supposed malady to blend in with the other boys, but if cooties did exist, I wanted to avoid it at all costs. 

How it got started in Bonita Springs Elementary I’ll never know, but poor old Rachel O. was accused of having cooties before I ever arrived there! At the beginning of my time there, several of us boys would arrive early at school in order to play the game of slam or tether ball on the basketball court. Whenever Rachel O, stepped off the bus by the basketball court, she created no small panic among the boys. 

Someone would cry out,

“Rachel has cooties! Rachel has cooties! Rachel has cooties!” 

This caused Rachel to chase after us with a vengeance. Rather than her being embarrassed, she made it a mission to transmit her disease to any and every boy she could put her hands on before going inside.  

It was said that as long as Rachel was in the school building itself, no one was at risk of exposure to contracting cooties. It was only when she was outside the schoolhouse that people were at risk of being exposed.  

Though she never caught me on the playground, others were not so fortunate. Once she touched a boy, they would cry out as if in great anguish, 

“I got cooties! I got cooties! “I got Rachel’s cooties!” 

Thankfully, the victims recovered very quickly after being touched, but poor old Rachel could never shake being a carrier of cooties until she attended junior high.  

Even though she was not ugly, there were no boys interested in her as a girlfriend. Nobody I knew wanted to be known as having a girlfriend with cooties. Luckily for Rachel, the fear of cooties came and went with maturity. 

Feeling sorry for her, I even risked playing slam and tether ball with her if she agreed not to touch me; she honored her promise. Nonetheless, I made sure I kept my distance to avoid any possible outbreak of cooties regardless. I liked her as a friend, except for the cooties.