My Three Demons

I had heard about adults fighting with personal demons as a boy. But I had no idea what that meant until I listened in on some of the neighborly conversations over coffee among the stay-at-home wives. Names like alcohol, depression, meanness, sorry, and just-plain-no-good were just a few names given to some demons. And these were the nicer ones!

Well, I eventually realized that even kids are not immune to being plagued by personal demons. There were three that lived in our very home, and there was nothing I could do to rid myself of them. I gave each one a name: Hairspray, Lipstick, and Too Hot; these names were never mentioned over coffee, by the way.

Demon Hairspray  

In order to keep Mt. Tease in place, Mom and Sis used copious amounts of the most obnoxious hairspray known to civilized man. Whatever chemical compositions were pressurized within that spray created a pungent smell that lingered in the air like cigarette smoke and permeated every inch of the house. It literally labored my breathing like secondhand smoke. 

Like smokers, hair-sprayers were accustomed to the smell of their fixation creation. They were desensitized to the effect it had on non-users like me. Sis called me overreactive. But the sound of “pssssssssssss” triggered an alarm inside my head, warning me that I better eject before I crash and burn with pulmonary paralysis.

Even after I bailed out and later returned, my long narrow nose was as sensitive as any Geiger counter detecting radioactivity. I could smell minute traces of fallout long after the dispersal of toxic chemicals into the air. Naturally, I was accused of imagining all of this and making a fuss over nothing. 

If the nozzle alarm sounded in the summer, leaving the door ajar. If the nozzle sounded in the winter, the only options were to suffer lung squeeze or go outside and feel the chill of old man winter. Demon Hairspray did nothing for me but played havoc with my lungs. I hated the sticky smell of Hairspray.

Demon Lipstick 

Lipstick that bright red demon paint that smeared and never dried was another devil that would send me running for cover. “Stick” was a misnomer because lipstick in those days would stick to anything and everything but for what it was designed for, the lips!

Mother would always leave a set of red ruby lips on her porcelain coffee cup. Now it just looked plain nasty to me to see a pair of lips all over the rim of a coffee cup. I would even cringe whenever the neighbors came over for coffee, for fear of some pair of unwelcome ruby lips taking liberty and kissing me on the forehead or cheek for simply being a “little darling.”

In my generation someone sold women a worthless bill of goods that lips plastered on everything was attractive to the opposite sex. To me leaving an imprint of your lips on anything, whether it be on a coffee mug, face, collar, or tissue paper was just plain yucky.

When those bedeviled red lips was looking to kiss a "cutie pie," that being me, it was time to seek a safe haven either in my bedroom or outside far away. Demon Lipstick held no appeal for this boy. I hated the thought and look of it on me.

Demon Too Hot 

My Mother struggled with controlling her body's thermostat during the winter season in Florida. It could be forty-five degrees outside, but she kept the house temperature in the eighties. Since sitting still was not in my constitution, I was going in and out of the house constantly.

During the winter months, it was nothing for me to go through a 40-degree variance a zillion times a day. At times it would get so hot and stuffy in the house that I would have to go outside just to breathe a sigh of relief. I am not sure if that was one of the reasons; I got sick a lot, but I just couldn’t remain inside an oven in the winter. I hated the feel of Too Hot’s presence.

Now that I am older, I still get distressed whenever hearing the sound of a can of hairspray hissing toxic fumes in the air or even smelling the lung-wrenching scent of it. Whenever I spot a pair of lip-prints on a coffee mug or a pair of crimson lips coming my way, I have flashbacks and cringe. I still gasp for air in houses that feels way too hot and stuffy inside.

After all these years, I still can’t shake these pesky demons of the past. Running away from Hairspray, Lipstick, and Too Hot is still the only viable option for fast relief. It's better to seek remedy than dealing with certain lung freeze, painted germs, or suffocation.