The Rubber Band War

There was a clamor of excitement

when Sis came busting through

the door of the house,

“We’re going to have a rubber band war!”

I was drafted without notice and

got caught up in the moment.

She commanded me to begin making

rubber band guns and recruit

my friends to join in the fight.

 

The battle was going to take place

in the afternoon against

Richard the tyrant.

He was the neighborhood bully,

who I suspected had a thing for my sister.

He never really did anything mean

to my sister that I was aware of or to me,

but I was going to war against him shortly

because Sis said I was…

 

RB guns were easy to produce.

They were made from

a long stick, like a broom handle,

and a clothespin fastened to one end

that served as a trigger.

A series of rubber bands were tied together

and looped over the end of the barrel

and stretched back to the clothespin.

Once the clothespin was depressed,

its jaw opened up releasing the rubber bands.

For close combat, we just used our hands

to fire the rubber bands.

 

When the afternoon came

the battle lines were drawn and

we engaged the enemy.

Because the rubber ammunition

were non-deadly,

we were more heroic and daring

than real soldiers.

 

Due to our weaponry

and cunning ways,

the tide of the war was

shifting in our favor.

The enemy was getting

the lion's share of the stings

by our hit-and-run tactics

throughout the neighborhood.

 

Sensing that his beleaguered army

was losing the campaign,

Richard the tyrant

grew increasingly frustrated

at his army’s inabilities

to counter our advances.

 

So, he took matters into his own hands

by breaking a major rule of engagement

and physically disarmed me.

This was to be a conflict of strategy

not a test of physical strength for

Richard’s army was comprised of

bigger and stronger boys.

Besides, our general was a girl!

 

I ran home crying to my mother

that Richard pushed me down

and stole my rubber band gun!

This changed the course of the war.

 

When our general heard

that terrible news,

she hunted down

Richard the tyrant

and physically slugged him,

taking back by force

the stolen rubber band gun!

Richard was stung and hurt

in a different kind of way.

 

Afterward, there was a

a volley of words,

a strange sort of peace accord was struck,

and the rubber band war ended

as quickly as it began.

 

No treaty was ever signed, but

I decided to take my stockpile

of ammunition

and turn them into

a rubber band ball.

Bouncing a ball was better

than catching an RB bullet.